Eric
‘So that’s what happened.’ The old man had just told Eric what had happened during those months he was away. It was a frightening story, but Eric learned that his leaving caused suffering to those he held dear to him.
Not really a man of much worth for himself, Eric got up and walked over to the window. He recollected everything that the old man had just said to him.
‘If only I had been there to help out!’
‘It’s not your fault. I only wish you’d have found out earlier, your mother needed your company. She missed you.’
The old man was now next to him by the windowsill.
****
It happened at the Christmas dinner he didn’t get to go to. It honestly hadn’t been his fault. He had been working tirelessly for the company in order to get an order completed before the end of the year, and had no time to return home for a family get together.
He knew his father wasn’t going to be there, and even then it wasn’t much of an excuse not to go, but he’d rather have his mother think he missed his father too much instead of working on Christmas.
‘Yes mother, I’m not going to come. I’m still upset about losing father. I’m sorry.’
He hadn’t entirely lied to her; after all, he was still upset. He just didn’t want her to worry.
****
‘Your mother died suddenly, we still don’t know why yet,’ was the first thing the old man said to him.
‘I should have been there! I know it’s because I wasn’t there!’ Tears rolled down his face in anger.
It was a Christmas he would never forget.
****
‘Your family welcomed me into the house for the holidays. Your siblings all seemed so much more grown up now than when I last saw them on the farm.’ The old man would sip away at his coffee, the smell of which permeated the room. Along the opposite wall, there was a fire, of bright red, yellow and orange flames, whose radiance shone to warm up the entire place.
‘I was in from work when I noticed your sister and her husband at the door. I hadn’t really had much of a job, so I really wasn’t very good to look at, but they invited me in anyways.’ He grinned a wide grin, as his teeth, still intact, clenched together.
‘Your mother told me you wouldn’t be here, that you were upset about losing your father. I never would have expected to find you, but I continued on regardless.’
‘Dinner was fantastic. Best meal I’ve had in years. Looking after a lighthouse isn’t really all that great a job; the pay is quite low, the safety of it, imagine working here in the middle of a storm, not too safe.’
‘So how’d you end up at my mother’s place?’ Eric was now getting frustrated. He’d remembered how he dreaded listening to the old man’s stories back on the farm.
‘Ah yes, that.’ The old man looked at Eric quizzically. ‘I was picking up some parts for the lighting fixture at the top of this lighthouse, and I was walking down that same street to get home. Like I said, I recognized your sister and she invited me in. Sure I looked awful, but she invited me in anyways. You’ve always been from a nice family.’
‘And what of my mother? What happened to her?’ Eric looked at him mixed concern and frustration.
‘After dinner, we had gathered in the common room to sing carols, eat the cake and talk. Your mother and I were discussing different things; among them were you and your father not being present. When we started to discuss it, it seemed as if your mother didn’t really want to talk about it. She didn’t seem to mind, but she sort of just said it was okay, that we weren’t out of line, that she was just sad that you weren’t there. I changed the topic after, but she didn’t seem to want to talk too much, and said she was going to bed early.’
There was an apologetic look on the old man’s face at this point. ‘One of your sisters went to check on her, but when they got to her room, she didn’t have any pulse, and didn’t respond.’
‘She…she…’ Eric was in tears at the news. ‘She died of a broken heart. She died because I wasn’t there with the family for Christmas.’
‘Crash.’ The sound of glass shattering emanates as Eric slams his fist against the table.
‘Crash.’ The same shattering in his heart, as his spirit fails to see that in fact, there was nothing he could have done but what he did, after all, he wanted to protect his mother from worry right? At least, in his own heart, this is what he tried to tell himself; it was all he could do to keep himself from getting hurt.
‘Please, when is it, the funeral?’
‘I don’t know…I’m sorry, maybe you should go back and see your sisters and brothers, and they may have plans already.’
In his heart, he knew he had to do something; he knew he had to go back. He knew he would have to; otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to live it down.
****
‘Crash!’ The sound of thunder and the brilliance of lighting were immense that night. As he sat in the back of the Model T, he thought about what he had heard two days earlier; his mother had died suddenly of heartbroken loneliness.
If only I’d been there
he thinks to himself, I’d never have to hear this, I wouldn’t be worried like this. She would still be alive!It was at moments like this when he really despised the fact that he worked for that man.
His boss wasn’t the nicest of guys, he hardly said two words to his workers, and resented having to pay them. He was really the kind of guy that Eric would hate.
‘Crash!’
The lightning brought Eric back to reality. He had to go see his brothers and sisters, even if initially, it doesn’t seem good for his own sake.
The Model T sped down the road, and bumped along the way, falling into potholes, getting stuck in the mud, and meeting occasionally with traffic.
He couldn’t tell how long it would take to get there, but he realized that it had been far too long since he last spent time with his family, that distance was keeping him from everyone else, and that all his life, he had been alone.
‘Ever since I was a little boy, moving from the farm, all the way out here, I’ve never had any real friends.’
He thought about those words for the rest of his ride.
Darlene
‘Dear Diary.
It’s been two days since mother has died. It’s quite lonely without her. I don’t know what else to do. My husband tells me it happens and that he has no parents either.
I’m so confused. My sisters are always crying. I don’t hear from my brothers, and mother’s servants are silently working, constantly coming in and out of my room.
I don’t spend too much time outside my room, except to eat and use the bathroom. My husband left this morning for home. His manager called and told him he had to work. I just don’t see why it has to be this way.
I really wish little brother were here, I wish father were here. I know it must seem selfish, but…’
‘Knock knock.’ The sound of the wooden door drew her out of focus.
‘Come in.’
The door squeaks open. It’s their laundry lady, Catherina.
‘Ms. Darlene? Have you any laundry?’
She points towards a basket in the corner and heaves a sigh.
‘Catherina, do you miss my mother?’
Catherina looks at her, puzzled. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I don’t know.’ She sighs again. ‘I guess it’s because, she was my mother, and…’She pauses, frustrated and struggling to find the right words.
‘Milady, I know how you must feel, and, I understand what it means to lose your family. That’s why Madam Eliza took me in.’
‘You mean…’
Catherina nods. ‘I was originally from an impoverished family, which Madam met. After my parents died, Madam Eliza took me in as a servant. She fed me, took care of me and paid me. For that, I’m grateful.’
Hearing her story, Darlene understood the lesson her mother would have wanted her own children to learn.
****
It was late afternoon. Darlene was looking out her bedroom window. Outside, she could see flowerbeds, well kept by her mother’s gardener.
‘Nothing interesting, just nature,’ she would often find herself thinking aloud. Interesting was far from describing the view. It was practically breath-taking. She just couldn’t see it, behind the tears she was crying.
Beside her, on the windowsill, was a pile of tissue paper, all soaked in her tears. She kept mostly to herself, and left her room less and less. She had her meals brought to her and kept mostly everyone out. On this particular afternoon though, there was an interesting turn of events. A car drove up to the door, and out came a man in a gray trench coat and hat. She wondered who it could be, and since no one else was around to greet him she had no other choice but to get the door.
She tried to straighten up her face, and with what little composure she had, put on a nice evening gown.
As she headed down the stairs, she heard a door click open.
‘Who could that be? No one has the key to the house except my brothers and sisters.’
The man tilted his head up, and made eye contact.
‘Darlene? Is that you?’
She instantly recognizes the voice and runs down to greet him. With a hug, the man asks where everyone else is.
‘They’re all out, Alphonse went to the funeral home to book the funeral, the twins went to the store to get groceries and Gabe went to be with friends.’
Walking into the main room, the two of them were completely silent. Sitting down at the comfortable recliners by the fireplace, all she could do was ask, ‘Why did you come now, after everything happened?’
‘It was all I could do, knowing I should have been here.’
‘Then why weren’t you? Why weren’t you here?’ Tears rolled down her cheeks as she began to lose focus, as she had in her room.
‘I didn’t want to worry anyone. I didn’t want you to see me the way I am now. I’ve been working so hard, I’ve had very little rest, and I’ve been quite stressed lately. I didn’t want mother to worry. I guess it would have been best to cause her worry than to have never come at all.’
‘Click.’ The door opens again.
‘Darlene, I’m home.’ As the voice comes closer, a man walks into the room.
‘Welcome home,’ he says to the other man, in a sarcastic voice.
The man sitting down gets up and embraces the other.
‘Brother, it’s been too long.’
‘It has, and I wish you’d have been here sooner, the whole family has been going through some difficult times.’
‘I know, and I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner. Old man Halverson came by and told me what happened.’
****
Dinner was prepared by Darlene.
As the family ate in silence, she continued to go over details about the funeral in her mind. It would be in a week, and each of them was asked to say something about their mother.
There was the occasional ‘pass the salt’ at the table, but otherwise, it was fairly silent. She could think her thoughts in peace. As uneventful as it was, she was glad that she could be alone with herself.
After dinner, she retired to her room, where she flipped open her diary. She saw the page where she last wrote, and read it over. It was incomplete.
She tore that page out and began a new entry.
‘Dear Diary,
Little brother came home today…’
The Seeker
‘We are gathered here today to remember our dear sister.’
As I spoke these very words, I could only count the number of times Beth, as friends called her, came by to give me some of her home baked breads, and how many times she would come to me, to plan her children’s weddings or just to talk about her husband.
After her family moved to town ten years ago, I’ve enjoyed spending time with them. I’ve had many memories. Lately, I’ve noticed how Beth would come by, quite sad. I’m not sure how any of this happened, because the family themselves won’t say, if they know.
The church is solemn. The casket is black and made of wood. Its crucifix is chrome.
Sitting in the front are the children: Alphonse, Darlene, Stacey and Amelia, Gabriel, and the youngest one, Eric.
‘I now call upon each of the children to leave with their mother a few resting memories.’
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